Andraz Tori was one of the cool Slovenian entrepreneurs I met at Webstart in Zagreb the other week. (His company Zemanta won Seedcamp Europe which would be a must have plugin for every blogger if some features where added *g* but it is already quite good)

He currently is in the Valley for SES and asked on twitter – as he should – if anybody would like a beer with him. Just that his follower rate is not that high, so this twitter question might not have the impact it could have. I not only retweeted the question but added some more information on my own twitter (see the conversation on summize). I noted to him privately that twittering in such a case is also about opening opportunities of answering, which he probably took to write this posting: Bubble 1.0, Loop 2.0?

Early adopters seem to heavily consist of (soon to be) entrepreneurs and ’social media advisers’. They/we jump to every new service, because of hope that by being active there we will get noticed by guys like Scoble or Arrington. Some hope to sell expertise if the service ever gets popular.

Consequently we (entrepreneurs) and they (social-media-*) mostly try to craft activities on those sites with a single goal of self-promotion in mind. We sometimes behave like schoolgirls at concerts, trying to get attention of the rock stars by screa err. twittering anything that might get us noticed. And sometimes rock stars invite a girl into backstage. The loop is complete and proof of success starts a new cycle with even more girls participating. Naturally this is oversimplified view of the affairs, but is it also too cynical?

No it is not cynical, as this very much describes what is happening: the rock star and the groupie, both in a symbiotic relationship – the one needing the attention, the other one in power to give it.

But there is one more type in this game, and that is the person with the backstage connection. Who sometimes deals with the rock stars but generally hangs out with the rest of the crew and reaps benefits through it, without the downsides of being a groupie.

Which actually is what I have been doing all of my life, without really having a name for it. Even in school days I would work my way backstage rather than scream. Seriously. While everybody else was standing in line during breaks to buy milk / sweets etc, I build up a relationship with the janitor who ran the shop and was allowed to enter backstage and serve myself, payment and access to the register included. Huge timesaver.

Nowadays I find myself rather connecting with the organizers and makers for example of conferences than speaking myself, with somehow similar results. Or relate my ‘wishes’ for applications to everyone but the rock star so to say. And when it is time, I also get access to the rock star because of previously build relationships.

Only when there is a real need I do connect with the rock star and in most other cases rather avoid them. I could care less if you are one and refuse most often to play the adoring groupie game – I respect people for what they do and not because thousand other people think you are cool. In the grand scheme of things the rock star is only one part of the big puzzle. And the people backstage kind of have both: the thrill and benefits of the concert while at the same time they are less demanding than the sometimes sissy rock star.

Andraz might have been a bit irritated about my statement that he should consider connecting with people through twitter on the screaming side, and it made me realize that I actually was suggesting the backstage path without making that clear. And even when suggesting that, it included for me – without saying – that there needs to be a no bullshit approach as well. Because those powerful people who can get you backstage and make you part of a circle recognize as the rock star does if you try to play them as stupid.

Meaning in his case: while I did point out in a stronger than usual fashion that if you are around you should meet him, I really think that this is a good chance to get some insight into the “new europe” tech scene plus he has a cool back story. Which means the twitter link to Robert Scoble and Loic Lemeur was intentionally but with purpose as both of them do videos and are looking for interesting partners.

I think it provided value. Otherwise I would have never done it – because I have no intention of loosing my back stage status.

This time brought up by Lena West in “X Chromosome Web 2.0 Rock Stars“. I have made my points clear in “Decisions are made by those who show up” but looking at Lena’s answers something else popped up for me.

Maybe I have been watching too much enjoyable pickup artist reality shows (hei, I really found them amusing!), but Lena’s answer to my comment made something very obvious to me:

So, the question is…how do we make it easier for women to apply for available speaking gigs? Or, maybe even more basic than that, how do we get women to put speaking at the top of their priority/marketing efforts list? Or maybe, how do we get ‘the establishment’ to recognize/find people who won’t exactly promote themselves?

If you ever saw any of the ‘PUA’ stuff, you should know what I saw: Easy.

I do not think it should be easier. It should be more obvious what men do to get this kind of stuff – what women neglect to do. It should not be made harder btw just equally hard. That already sets the bar much higher for many women.

And why do we have to find people “who do not to promote themselves” to recommend them when obviously that is not what they want? I appreciate Jeremiah’s posting on this, but basically it is again doing work for somebody who seems not willing to do so.

Not speaking of certain individuals, but in general: Men do call, try to add value, come up with proposals etc. They send in applications when a call for speakers is send out, try to connect with people they know etc. And end up submitting.

They also appear at conferences and networking events. And everybody ever having been to such events knows, that it is basically not about the program, but the networking.

I have been involved in enough conference by now to see the pattern

• you have a goal for your event
• you need some famous speakers to sell tickets
• you need a program with good speakers to sell tickets

Once you do have your program structure in place, you go through your physical and mental address book. Then you add the results of the call for speaker PLUS all the other submissions (mostly male of course). Suddenly you have a good program. You are happy.

You publish it – then comes the usual “where are the females” outcry. Busted, blamed – but actually why?

Names are pulled out and the organizer has to put effort into getting to these women (whereas everybody else came to them, offering them content, ready made) and talk to them. Trying to convince them while at the same time having to balance for the fact, that they are often not as popular (aka visible and with their own reach). Organizers of course can never talk about it, it would hurt them even more.

But this is not Stone Age anymore, when men had a physical advantage and where meant to go hunting. Today, everybody can go up on a stage and deliver a presentation. (Not everybody should do it, but that is a different issue.)

As such, it IS absolutely valid to tell a woman that she needs to pay extra attention to all the things that make her weaker on stage than a man. That she needs to pay attention to how her microphone level is in comparison to male voices. That on such a case the role of the little girl is just not cutting it. And that in order to be on the stage, on a panel or with a workshop, she needs to make contacts, get her proposals out with more than just being a chick but with something valuable to the conference organizer.

Men will play confident even if they are not. They are sometimes very blissful in their ignorance. Then again, they take criticism as one way to grow and put their ambition towards ‘getting there’. Rejection just means “not this time”.

“But I send out proposals and I got refused!” So have many other men. Plus in most cases a simple look at the presentation / application reveals why. (Something else many women really do not want to hear about).

Going back to Lena demanding men to stand up for more female speakers, I shrug my shoulders and ask: why should they? It would be something absolutely different if women would apply and just not get into the spots. But that is not the case.

There is also the demand for women not to go to events that do not have equal speakers. I have a secret for you: That is not really going to hurt sales, because women seldom go, so unless there is an upswing in women attending, that is an empty threat.

Bottom line?
There is a reason why the same names always keep popping up. Because there are not many good names / speakers – male or female.

Some questions
For starters it would be great if conference organizers would publish, how many female applications they got (minus the one where it was on behalf of a guy). Second, how much of them actually where on the spot for the conference. (My gues: they will barely hit 10% on a normal conference).

For speakers – if they actually read this: How often do you get approached or do you send out submissions? Somebody in the league of Jeremiah and even more Guy, you get asked. But that does not happen overnight.

And for everybody else: mail your favorite interesting person and ask: What do YOU do to get onto the speaking circuit? If they already have aspirations: “How often have you submitted something to a call for speaker, how often have you made contact with conference organizers, how many interview proposals have you done to interviewing media. When was the last time you updated your speakers / about me page? Does it have video / audio of you? ”

Terri L. Maurer asks in another article about the glass ceiling :

Like you, I have to wonder why women don’t do more for ‘our own’. That is, those who make it up the ladder leaning back to help other women follow them up.

Why would you build ladders for nobody to follow? Climbing a ladder is work, and as we see further up, there never seems to be work involved for a female, but all good things come to them.

The reason why I nearly named this post “the female speaker apprentice” is simple. Because I assume that out of 12 or whatever aspiring female speakers with ambition (mind you that already narrows down the field a lot), only one or two have what it takes to be really a good speaker on the stage in the caliber of one Guy Kawasaki.

Same with the men – just that they seem to try harder.

… and where you actually should start using your ‘consumer power’
The point where I think you should use your power is this: Demand from organizers to have fresh speakers – be it male or female. And assure them at the same time that you still will attend, even if you bring in new names.

Because that is the other side of the story – organizers do not just pick big male names because it is easy, but because they need to make their conference happen too! It is not as if they are the big evil.

And you should ask the bigger names to do something for fresh speakers, help the organizers for example in endorsing them. Yes, that is assigning the big name to the small name, but it gives credit – which would also answer the “what is in it for me” question. …

It is about women in the workplace not wanting to invest time “after work hours” for their job as well as complaining to their significant others if they do.

I am in the lucky position to now do what my passion is. Which also means that it is possible to work with a client and send her or him a link / text in the middle in the night because it fits the project we are working on. I am not “still” working, but it is part of my life. (There is the discussion about separation of life and work and balance but let’s leave that for another time).

I also had this when I still was employed. If I would see something interesting, I would forward it to somebody even if it was work related and I was ‘off duty’. I always enjoyed reading books on business rather than novels, and never had this strict ‘oh my god it is 5 o clock, I have to leave the building!”. But it seems as if my kind of behaviour is odd – especially for a woman. It made me reflect on some of the conversations I had over the years and let me give you the following, (from my experience) very typical examples.

As I said, I like to hand out texts and links I come across. I never had a guy not say thank you and leave it at that, but women would complained to me, one even saying “when am I supposed to look at that – in my free time?!”; very loud for everybody to hear. Guess how often I gave her something again.

My brother took home for christmas a very thick book about his profession – not what he is doing now but what he could use tomorrow. I said that I am very proud of him that he actually does this, but a female friend of mine only had the reaction of “but it is christmas! he should be talking to you and the family!”. He did and we had splendid conversations, but still there was some time slots where he just had time and read his book. But my friends position was, he should not even had brought it there. She would never do so.

When meeting with guys after work, there is no problem switching back and forth between work stuff and other stuff whereas women tend to enforce “this is work free time! Don’t talk business! Let’s do that tomorrow!” and get grumpy when you still slip back to work stuff as if this is offending – but this kind of time is the best time to do networking. So what do men do when they are between themselves? Network. What do they do when women are around? They don’t because the women complain. Which loss is it? The womens.

If training is offended but it runs in the evening, the weekend, the women are more likely to complain about the unfair “use of their free time” and “but i have to do shopping / home work” whereas men just say “cool idea! when shall I be there?” and find another way to do shopping and homework. My former employee had a version where he would pay for the teachers and rooms and you with your free time, a good deal I thought. Most women where about “but it is my free time, I am not paid for this! Why should I go there?”. To learn something, stupid? These are just a few examples where women pass on opportunities but later complain about being left out.

Take conferences as well. Yes of course it is annoying to travel a lot around, but the people I meet at conferences, the conversations and contacts I get out of it are worth it every time. There is never a discussion with a men about his – but always with women. (My favourite: But you could do something useful during that time, like working on your social life in Lübeck. Yeah right, as if there is much people to connect with here in my area of expertise.)

Also, even if this is not the how they want to spend their time, I am amazed how often they don’t recognize the pattern. After all, men are not that complicated.

I remember vividly a female colleague complaining bitterly about her boss because he told her to show some more engagement in the work place and stay longer in the afternoon. She was referred to another colleague as good example. “But doesn’t the boss see that I come at 7 in the morning and then leave at 16:30 in the afternoon already doing overtime! I should not be told to look at the other guy who comes at 8:55 and leaves at 18:30! I am the same time there!”. Yes, true, but the boss comes at nine and usually leaves at 18:15.

And all he sees is that she leaves in the early afternoon where as the other guy is there when he comes and is still there when he leaves.

But what it boils down to is my feeling that a lot of women want to play the game in the work place by their own rules and even though they have all the right to do so – most men play by other rules. And they recognize when somebody else is “in the team” or “in another team”.

What do you do when you have a new task / job? Do you give it to somebody who works like yourself and ticks like yourself or to somebody who ‘refuses’ to invest time in the job like you do?

It strikes me that a lot of women refuse a lot of possibilities. If all you do is your job or if you are paid to do that, how are you supposed to enhance your knowledge / network / experience? Yes, it would be nicer if we would be paid and easier and everything, but if a boss asks you to go on a work trip and the answer is “but I would miss my yoga class!” I assume you will not be asked again.

And if the men around you show that they work on their skills in the free time, you can refuse to do so – but when push comes to shove, you will not be picked, but the other guy who invested time. And showed that he played in “the same league”. Talking to girls I see the tendency to pat each other on the back and say “of course you should not invest your free time! Right for you to do so!” whereas men tend to smirk and go their way – as women push themselves out of the race. And wonder why they do not get as far.

As I said, those are my experiences and they might be flawed, but I have had them over and over again. In a way, this is a game with rules. And as I like to say: If you want to play football, you have to train and work to play football. And not care about your cheerleader moves – because then all you will be is a cheerleader. But never a player on the field.

Thoughs? Comments?

I suggest – even if you cannot stand the topic anymore – to go through his listed links which are from both side of the spectrum. (It is also worth noting what he leaves out, but that is a different story.)

I have posted my comment over there as it belongs to that discussion (and also he seems to take comments more seriously if mailed – well then.)

Ewan has done a followup on his blog much more eloquently than I can do it and I agree on all accounts with him on this. Please read that one first too before continuing.

Shel Israel btw has found the best description about what many of us are upset about I have seen until now:

But if I went to a rock concert to discover the lead off group was a string octet playing Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. I would be confused and disappointed. As so many of Le Web 3 attendee seem to have felt.

Which can work too – if it is done properly. Looking back on this I think most arguments have been posted and written up which is why I would like to move on.

And take the time to point to something else: Could you please be so kind and stop floating with the tide? And no, I do not mean Loic with that because *he* does not change his story just because some flack came back at him.

Could you please be so kind and stop floating with the tide?
It is not new, but it amazes me to see the amount of people being two faced.

As for example people telling you “you voiced exactly how I fell and I will never talk to him again” (being far over the top on this) and then suddenly when writing their own posts or giving comments they state that everything was great, wonderful and no problems to be seen?

If you want to behave that way fine but do you think I and others are so stupid to not notice that? If you do have an opinion, make a conscious decision about it. Stop sending mixed signals.

Btw: Having an opinion does absolutely not mean having it set in stone. It is suppose to evolve and be developed the more information you get. “At first I had a bit different opinion but now that I have more information this is what I think” is perfectly fine.

And then there are the quiet ones, which did not change their mind but stay quiet . It does not help to keep quiet because then you will never get what you want. If you do not put your money where your mouth is your silence will be taken as acknowledgement of whatever is happening.

Take a look at what you are doing at the moment: You are reading a text from a person you most likely do not know, on a computer screen. This *is* a new world, it needs new forms of communication and I seriously do believe that many voices should be heard in how to develop this.

If you keep quiet, you will not be heard. If you say something, you can voice what your impression is, what you think about and how you feel on a topic. It does not need to be a blog or a public comment. Voicing it can be done in many different ways – more silent, more loudly, short or long. But do it if you want to be taken seriously.

Yes you will be held accountable for it. You will receive “feedback” for this. No, that is not easy.

[And an information for the men: Being a woman who voices her opinion and believes does mean getting additional feedback "below the line" and with extra attacks in trying to put you as the naive, not experienced, unskilled little girl who should go out and play with her dolls.

You ask why so few women are at such events, show up and make their voice heard - this is definitely one of the reasons. You need to have double the skin thickness of a man to start with just for opening your mouth and having an opinion.

This article btw shows a different side of the same thing (and I wanted to blog this link before I forget it): "What She Wore: The Prevalence of Gender Bias in Reporting"]

Technorati Tags: leweb, leweb3, loic lemeur, conferences, values

Starting tomorrow, the photos and videos submitted will be placed throughout Reuters.com and Yahoo News, the most popular news Web site in the United States, according to comScore MediaMetrix. Reuters said that it would also start to distribute some of the submissions next year to the thousands of print, online and broadcast media outlets that subscribe to its news service. Reuters said it hoped to develop a service devoted entirely to user-submitted photographs and video.

Of course there will be some editoral selection so that not everything will make its way online:

Starting tomorrow, users will be able to upload photos and videos to a section of Yahoo called You Witness News (news.yahoo.com/page/youwitnessnews). All of the submissions will appear on Flickr or a similar site for video. Editors at both Reuters and Yahoo will review the submissions and select some to place on pages with relevant news articles, just as professional photographs and video clips are woven into their news sites today.

If you until now read Google News, why not in future use Yahoo if you get the same information but with pictures and video? As usual the question pops up: If I work for you, will I get paid? The answer looks good at first glance:

Users will not be paid for images displayed on the Yahoo and Reuters sites. But people whose photos or videos are selected for distribution to Reuters clients will receive a payment. Mr. Ahearn said the company had not yet figured out how to structure those payments. The basic payment may be relatively small, but he said Reuters was likely to pay more to people offering exclusive rights to images of major events. For now, no money is changing hands between Yahoo and Reuters, but if Reuters is able to create a separate news service with the user-created material, it will split the revenue with Yahoo.

It seems as if the answer is yes – but if you look closely it only “enhances” the services of Yahoo and Reuters. If revenue is generated, it will be split with Yahoo. And although it may be reprinted somewhere, the future for news is online and not on paper.

Basically you are giving Reuters a huge amount of material to select from (without them having to pay anything for it) and if you are lucky, your work is taken. Then your work gets used (probably without usable credits) and if it gets reprinted AND it will be reported, first Reuters and Yahoo will receive money.

It may be interesting for an aspiring photographer to try and work this angle and get some recognition this way, but for the shere masses this is a a win win situation: The readers get photos / video for free and Yahoo and Reuters earn more money through it. Why? Because stories with multimedia are more interesting than just text.

A bad picture may be better than no picture at all and if there is no video material at all, any kind of video will do.

Readers will know that I am no friend of the old copyright system, I call it outdated and it needs work done. It was invented in the last millenium and could not have forseen the internet. Still, we have to talk about ways to share revenue in a fair way between all parties.

[Additional text in German: Yahoo / Reuters wollen 'Leserbilder' übernehmen]

Tag(s): yahoo, reuters, work for free

Decisions are made by those who show up:

It fits very good on the ongoing discussions about female speakers on conferences, or even female attendees on tech conferences.

I have made that point before and will do it again in here: I do not want females on a conference just for the sake of them being there. For me “but you have to have women” is not good enough for a reason to get a women up as a speaker. I also do not want the same men over and over again as it gets annoying, they seldom bring something new to the table.

That being said I usually state also that most topics at such conferences are not the stuff women are interested in. Now why do I feel like I could speak for all women in this topic? (the usual phrase from women is btw how do I dare to do so?). Easy: Because I am going and I am interested. And I have learned a long time ago that what I am interested in is not the stuff most women are interested in.

“They” usually look at me and call me weird (and from time to time ask if I would not like to do something worthy with my time). So the more I am interested in a conference, the more likely it is ‘normal’ women will not.

Why? I do not know. I assume it is the same like with driving cars. Men love to have them as gadgets and women just want to drive from a to b, not understanding why men can spend so much time with it.

And while I go through a certain amount of effort to get more women interested in those topics there is a limit in how much effort I will invest to get women to see that there is something happening which will change their lives big way and they should better be part of it in the beginning.

Because later, when something is hip and big, the complaints will start about the old boys club and how they are an elite circle. Some of them may be, but many of them are not. Especially not when they start out openly and start meeting, start building relationships. With who would you rather work together and share information – with strangers you do not know at all or with people you know?

Decisions are made by those who show up.

If you do not show up on such events, if you do not take part in such events, then those relationships will be build up with other people than you. Which btw is one of the reasons I strongly support events like blogher – as a start. But it is not the solution to all questions. It is good and worthy to have such women only events, but the real world is a mixed one.

If you want to play football, stop going to parties for cheerleader only. You will end up being just a cheerleader and not part of the team.

This year I have met a lot of really nice men who organized events and really where puzzled by how to attract more female speakers as well as attendees. Imagine the look a husband has when he gets the feeling he has done something wrong although he does not really why, how to fix it or how to avoid it – still he is willing to do whatever it takes. But he needs clues, please?

They where serious in their efforts and one of the most asked question was “where do you connect with one another so I can give notice of it?” Obviously, most women do not connect in a visible way which men can reach. Help them.

Decisions are made by those who show up – and participate as well as those who do not get interrupted.

Try this for your next social gathering: count the times a women is telling something / talking to somebody and a guy interrupts your conversation – and the women keep still and lets him take over. Count the times the same happens with between guys.

[Bonus question: Count the number of genders which will react irritated if the women insists on finishing their sentences / stories. Did you guess 2?]

At the moment, the game still has football players and cheerleaders. I think we know that the world is supposed to turn to a place where this kind of separation does not happen anymore – and this does not limit itself to men and women, colored or not, what ever.

But this need to be an effort from all sides and also some compromises.

Some suggestions:

• For a start, go to a tool like upcoming.org and get yourselves a user with your name and a photo of yourself. Find some people you know. Me for example. Look through the events you might be interested in and add yourself as watching. Look into what groups those events are added and subscribe to their feed to stay informed.
• When complaining about not having female speakers on a conference I often hear “but we send names” – how many of those names actually took the effort to send in something about themselves and what they would like to present once they hear about the event? If you are interested in the topic, ping the organizers and make them aware of yourself and what you can bring to the table. Hint: Being a women is a bonus, not sole qualification.
• If you hear about a new conference: blog early about it. Organizers of conferences start with the program and then do the marketing machinery – which in most cases means they are set with the programm. Use a tag like lookingforspeakers or callforspeakers.
• When going to an organizer, how many of the women complaining really had something more to say than “there are not enough female speakers”? Because if that is your tune, then go read this link from Loic in the comments about diversity. and refine your message.
• It is not about the female speakers – so I would assume – but about bringing topics on the program you are interested in because then you would have an incentive to go. Do you actually make suggestions which fit the profile of such an event? Do your interest really align with the goal of the specific event or is it just not for you?
• Where is your “Top 10 things I would like to see on a dream event” blog post, linked together by a tag like Things I would like to see at the next conference?
• If you saw somebody who really was a good speaker, empowering and all – blog about that as well so in case one of your readers does organize something they will get a clue about it.

You will notice that most of this does not apply to women only. :)

And while I am at it: As I am not so keen on speaking but love to help people and answer question – allow for more diversity of the style of your event as well. Mix presentations with discussions with workshops with expert tables and more.

So we all can participate with our personal strengths and make every day a happier more successful day for everyone. ;)

Technorati Tags: female speakers, conference organisation

But I remembered that flickr does not allow non photos (and most of the covers are), so I decided that I am closer anyhow with the European version of flickr called 23. It is not a finished product and yes, there are some ugly design flaws in using it, but for my purpose at the moment it is what I need.

For example I am rather unsure if the contact system really works as it should do. I will work from there with the people at 23 ;o))

So if you happen to be a user at 23 and are one of my usual suspects, add me to your list: User neezee.

As you can see, I am using it for the podcast cover promotion for Podcastday, so others can benefit from this work as well. ;)

Tag(s): 23, flickr, photo sharing

But have a look at the speakers of this new panel “Innovate!”:

• Ernst Raue, Member of the Board, Deutsche Messe
• Rudolf Groeger, CEO, O2 Germany
• Hannes Schwaderer, CEO, Intel Germany
• Gregor Bieler, Regional Director, Logitech
• Christoph Wilfert, Business & Marketing Officer, Microsoft Germany
• Timm Kehler, Vice President Marketing Predevelopment, Innovation Projects, BMW Group
• Moderator: Axel Burkert, Editor-in-chief, CHIP Online

I know that many women are not that much into modern technology just for itself but hey – this is really offending for me that a panel about innovation is absolutely not in any way about something even _I_ the geek care about.

As I just turned to Lyssa, sitting next to me, she said too “just what I wanted to say! And again, it is nothing about society, culture or whatever”. Lyssa of course uses nicer sentences, mea culpa for not remembering the right words ;)

Sorry, but I think I am going to leave this panel now, because I can’t see anything coming out of that which will be interesting to me to spend my time now. Perhaps I read later about it. And as it seems, I am not the only one. Since typing this article, I have seen 6 women leave this session, and the whole conference does not have so many at all. Well, we are just about more than half of the population ….

(And am I really the only one who expects from a person who is representing his company on an international floor to speak at least not a very hard th??? Wake me up if you dear panelist, if you have anything worthy to contribute to anything I care about. )

Technorati Tags: dld06

“Teach a man to fix and he’ll keep coming back for the rest of your life asking for advice. Kick him in the gonads and he’ll never bother you again.”

I’ve yet to stumble upon an opportunity to use this gem, though, so you guys get to enjoy it ;-)

Well … Tech support, mainly Excel and stuff, is part of my work. And in general I do like to help people, but …

People do get help from me, but the more stupid they are and the less clever they where before coming back to me on the same / another topic, the more they have to suffer from it. Given, most of them now think twice next time before asking me. Which I find okay, especially on that kind of support where I just share my knowledge and abstract thinking to solve their problems. Also, when you ask complicated questions – even though you put them in simple words – pay in advance if you want a simple answer. And don’t complain about my answer, in most of the cases you know me perfectly well; if you still ask that is your fault.

Remember Faulty Towers? “Comes with a smile?” “Comes with sprouts, smiles extra”

On the other side, if I have the feeling that you tried to do your best, I am all for helping you – just make me feel that you tried. If you did not try, well … And if you come with the same questions over and over again?

Does this method work? Yes. One colleague, who uses my awk scripts, learned awk by himself so he did not need to come over so often for asking those simple questions. For tech support, most of the time my colleagues try someone else because I – not even by intend, just in order to figure out the real problem behind it – ask questions they don’t want to answer.

Because many times I would just enter exactly those words into google to come up with the solution. Of course they get this served with a special smile. If you serve me “I know you know it at once or can look it up on speed, and I am to lazy to think, do my job but I keep the salary”, you will get an answer to that …

But I am always amazed, why not more people bribe me to be more nice on stuff they want from me. Even though I am a women, I am not expensive in this regard. ;)

Tag(s): tech support, bribing